I Need Time

Today was the first day that I thought, “I’m glad that the baby will not be here for another seven months because I need that time to prepare.” So today I began preparing…and now my back is sore. Today I spent most of the day trying to get the house in order. Of course the “Men’s Den” will be the “Baby’s Den” (Not the same ring, huh?) and the office will be the new “Men’s Den”. But after weeks of talking about it, today I put rearranging the rooms into full action. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending how you look at it) I began by tackling the garage. Since we have a two car garage and Kandis will need “a little” more space to get in and out of her car, I decided to make some extra room. This meant throwing out “a lot” of stuff, and organizing the rest. (Which was still “a lot” of stuff.)

Next the office…But since I work in a “multi-task” world, the task became the office, family room and den. Moving, shuffling, re-arranging, stuffing, and throwing out more stuff. And at the end of the day I finished… the family room. The office, I mean “Men’s Den”, is still a wreck and the “Baby’s Den” is worse. Why… because I tried to do everything in one day. And I have seven months.

In my haste I forgot to be patient. Now with a sore back, I’m forced to be patient. I should be stretched out on the bed with a heating pad and Tylenol, but instead I’m writing this journal and thinking to myself “I’m glad that the baby will not be here for another seven months because I need time to recuperate.”

Hello

On our second hospital visit we were able to see a bigger baby. And I must say that the baby actually waved at us today. It was like the baby was saying, “Hello parents.” In which I have to reply, “Hello baby”.

It was our first visit with our new doctor. His name is Dr. Stokes. He comes highly recommended by our previous doctor and nurses. In fact he delivered one of our nurse’s baby. He seemed personable and professional. He made us both feel comfortable even after I asked him to take a picture. He admittedly stated that this was the first time someone asked him to take a picture at the beginning of the pregnancy. It was my way of saying, “Hello Doctor”.

To see the baby was incredible. The head is so big, and the hands were so defined. Again we saw the heart beating. It was such a joy to see the baby healthy and secure inside of Kandis. I am so happy for Kandis. I am really enjoying seeing her grow. (And not just physically) She is embracing motherhood from the “blahs” to the “bravos”. We are both learning a lot as we get ready to say, “Hello New Life”.

We were told that Doctor Stokes only delivers at Fairview Hospital, which is great since its one of the best hospitals for deliveries. Kandis is happy about it, so I am happy about it. We looked over some of the courses offered for new and expecting parents at the hospital. We picked out a few classes including a new daddy boot camp. We will take advantage of any and all classes that will help us become better parents. We will be there like “Hello Fairview”.

Father Stuff

I am going to be a father.

So I am trying to be like a sponge soaking up all that “father stuff”. What ever it is…if it’s “father stuff”, I love it. You got something to share? Is it “father stuff”?...then I love it.

Today, Mike shared some fatherly advice with me. The details are too personal to include here, but I was so appreciative that he felt comfortable enough to talk about such intimate things with me. I think the theme from all of the advice that I’ve been receiving is that “there’s not one way to be a good father.”

Ummmmmm…. “Father stuff”.

In Detroit I met this father of one. He brought his son to the NFL Experience because they both love football. The father however made a comment that startled me. He said, “I really wanted a girl.” The statement itself was not a big deal, but the fact that his son was there and he said it over and over and over again made the situation a little uncomfortable for me and my father. So much so that Bob had to say, “But you’re happy to have a son, right?” The man talked extensively about how he just knew he was having a girl and how he planned for a girl. How he knew how to raise a girl, but didn’t have clue on how to raise a boy. He talked about feeling useless for the first few years because his son would only ask for “mommy, mommy, mommy”.

But now, since his son is older, they have a bond…football. Yes, football. And they talked about football. College football. Pro football. Youth football. The son even corrected his father on a pro draft pick. Football. In fact, when the boy became a little tired and warm standing in line for tickets, the father told him to treat it “like August on the football field” and to “suck it up”.

More fatherly advice. And I love that father stuff.

My Child is Your Child

Today, I began thinking about what it means to raise a child. It’s truly a blessing to be able to teach and lead a child through life. But what makes the whole thing funny is that the baby is not even born yet and I am already overcome with joy and love for the child. I can just think about the baby and I begin to get happy. I really, really love my baby!

My mother used to tell me this story about how her mother would tell her that she loved me too much. My grandmother would say, “God is going to take that child away from you.” My grandmother’s statement turned out to be very astute, despite her possible vengeful intentions. God did take me. In fact, God chose me before I chose him. And His love allows me to love. So, because there’s a possibility that I may love my child too much, I would like to offer my child to God right now.

I would like to make this statement right now… “God, my child is Your child.” All that I ask is that You give me the knowledge and wisdom to raise Your child properly. And since this child is Your child, I know that You want the best for Your child. I ask that You protect your child. Bless Your child. I want to be there for Your child because I really love Your child.

But that’s why I’m giving my child to You.

I've Got A Testimony

The first day of Prayer Month service brought me to the front of the church testifying about the baby. I didn’t plan on saying anything since Kandis didn’t go with me to church tonight, but after Jamie asked, “Does anyone have a testimony?” I just had to say something. I know that I rambled on & on, but I am so thankful for this blessing. (I’m thankful for ALL of my blessings, but this one…)

Anyway, I tried to get to the point quickly, but I found myself talking about my past sins and my new life in Christ. And with the encouragement of other members, I was able to tell my testimony. I had to testify that the Pastor was first to know about the pregnancy and because of our request, she did not tell anyone. We have such a great Pastor.

I’ve heard that you can’t have a testimony without a “test”, and the past 10 years or so of my life has definitely been a “test”; a private one, but a test none the less. The news of the baby has changed my life. For years I’ve felt so incomplete as a husband and a man. I now know that most of my “torture” was in my mind. God knows what I can take and He knows when I’m ready. Being ready spiritually has prepared me to be the father that I need to be. I’m so faithful to Him and I’m so glad God has remained faithful to me.

So tonight I want to say this to the baby…I love you. God has given you to us, so that we may give you to Him. You are special. You make me happy. You are loved! I want to be “that dad” for you. I want to teach you. I want to encourage you. I want you to have more than I have and see more than I have ever seen. I love you because God has blessed me with you.

I called Kandis immediately after I testified. I wanted her to know that I told the church. I felt bad because she was not here for my testimony, but now she can tell her testimony.