I've Been Thinking

Today I feel a great need to document my feelings. I am literally going out of my mind about our baby. Everyday I think about how our lives are going to change. Today I realized that not only will Kandis and I change, but everyone around us. Our parents, siblings, family members, friends, church members, and co-workers will experience this child being in our lives. We will no longer look at life the same again. I’m already looking at life differently. I just look at kids now and think, “Their parents are so blessed.” To have a child is such a blessing.

It really is mind blowing when I think about it because I want sooooooo much for my child. It’s so hard to explain, but I think about my child all day. I think about everything from feeding the child to dressing the child to taking the child to his or her first doctor’s appointment. I think about when the baby gets sick. (I’m not naïve to the fact that babies get sick) I think about school, I think about family trips and holidays. I think about going to concerts, extra-curricular activities in school and being a member of the PTO. I think about the baby’s first tooth, the first words, the first steps, and the first up the back boo boo.

But if I can be honest, I really think about how I can prevent my child from being spoiled. I already know that I am going to give my child everything that I can. And I know of other family members and friends that are eager to provide a lot. So it makes me wonder, “How do I prevent my child from being spoiled rotten?”
It’s going to be hard, but unfortunately Kandis and I will have to learn to say, “No”. “No” to our baby, “No” to our family, “No” to our friends, and “No” to ourselves. I believe it is for the best. Years from now when the baby is old enough to read this journal he or she will be able to see that there was a lot of thought put into how we raised him or her. Everything will be done out of love. From spankings to punishments to required instrument practice to the frequent “No”.